Driving Heero Nuts
by princesspriscillamaxwell
Summary: Relena and Duo have devised a way of getting Heero's attention and fast! Best of all it drives the perfect soldier to the limit


Heero gritted his teeth. He had to concentrate on the road and not on the giggling behind him. Grr…Duo…Relena…

The Japanese's latest mission was to bring safely bring Her Royal Highness, Relena, and her most trusted body guard, Duo, to the Palace in L2.

"That's another truth!"

Duo looked upwards and tapped his chin. "Truth eh? Hmmm, I want a cup of mocha with light and fluffy foam on top. No sugar."

"That's a truth? You're chickening on me, Duo. You usually come up with better stuff than this." Relena said, waving her finger at the braided boy. "Especially when you are drunk!"

"But I can't be drunk. I'm supposed to be your body guard, and body guards do not drink when they are protecting someone as important as you." He saluted at an attempt to mock her and Relena swatted at him playfully.

Yes, Heero thought and the grinding noise turned up a notch. Duo was the body guard this time and he was…well he was the obedient servant who had followed 'Her Highness' since the day he was born.

"I want you to wear my flower clip on your braid." Relena handed over her flower clip and giggled at the sight of Duo with it in his hair.

The drive to the palace would take approximately six hours. It had taken exactly four snack stops and six toilet stops, two hours, sixteen minutes and 3 seconds for the two in the back seat to snap. Heero had quickly stopped the car, opened the boot and searched it for something that didn't seem dangerous to occupy them. In the end he had found a rock and a pen.

"I want you to tie your pretty blonde hair into a bun."

After seeing the rock and pen Duo decided to play a game that he knew from when he was young. The simple game was called I want. He wrote the word 'truth' on one side of the rock and 'false' on the other. The player had to toss the rock and had to say something true if it landed on 'truth' and 'false' if it landed on the word 'false', but the sentence had to begin with 'I want'.

"Could you be a bit daring and say something bolder?"

"Like what?"

"Like…" Relena tossed the rock in the air and it landed as a false. "I want the magazine I saw you wanking to the other day." She grinned.

"WHAT! YOU WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND…hang on a moment you tricked me into telling you my private stuff." There was a moment of silence as the information settled then the sounds of laughter filled the car.

"Ok." Duo gasped, still clutching his stomach. "If that's how royalty wants to play then who am I to say no?" He grinned evilly into the rear mirror where he was sure Heero would see.

"I want…to kiss your hand." He said and when he was sure Heero was watching Duo kissed the back of Relena's hand gently.

"You didn't toss the rock."

"Do I need to when you want to play dirty?" The question sounded more like a statement.

"I want you to take off that uniform jacket."

The said garment came off and Heero growled. If things got any worse…

"I'm going to be mean…bra off! Oops what I meant to say was." Duo wrapped an arm around Relena's waist. Pulling her close he said in a husky voice. "I want to you to take off your bra."

"But I'm still wearing clothes over the top." The blonde protested.

"Don't care. I want that undergarment can be taken off first."

Heero's eyes opened wide. Duo wouldn't go that far would he? After all they were lovers in bed and had been dating for three years. Surely Duo wouldn't betray him after all this time.

"There!" Relena pulled her bra out from the sleeve opening and dangled it in Duo's face. "Took me a while but I managed." She said triumphantly. Just as she turned to face Duo, Relena caught a glimpse of horror on Heero's face. Duo winked at her and she smiled. This was going to be fun.

"I want your hair out of its braid."

Duo grumbled. "You just want to see me in agony when we arrive. I hope you have a comb and brush in your pompous handbag…your highness." He scowled and let his braid loose. "Now you said you wanted something drastic…"

He pounced on the princess and captured her pouty lips in a kiss. Relena responded by allowing the searching tongue to enter and the kiss turned into a fierce battle.

If anybody wanted to see expression on Heero's face it would be now. Surprise, outrage, shock mixed with confusion was clearly shown on his face. He put all his concentration on driving hoping that this was all a bad nightmare. It just couldn't be, his Duo…Princess Relena…

"It's all just a dream, it's all just a dream, it's all just a dream, it's all just a-"

A tie flew past his shoulder and landed on the dashboard.

"Dream, its all just a dream, concentrate on the road. Its all just a-"

A shirt followed shortly by a skirt on the passenger seat.

"Dream, Its All Just A Dream, concentrate on the road, its all Just A Dream, its All Just A-"

Trousers, pantyhose

"Dream, Its All Just A Dream, Its All Just A Dream,"

Boxers

BOXERS!

The car screeched to a halt and Heero stared at the pair of boxers that had just landed in his lap and was suddenly scared to look at the two behind him

"Mmm, Relena…"

"Oh Duo, more please."

But he had to look. He needed to know what was going on before he could continue driving. He needed to look because…because they were driving him nuts.

A pair of lacy white panties flew over and landed on the steering wheel. That was the last straw.

Heero turned around slowly, part of his scared of what he might see and part of him desperately seeking to find the truth.

And the truth he found.

Duo and Relena sitting together like two peas in a pod, each with an open suitcase in their lap, giggling softly like two year olds.

They smiled and waved at Heero when they saw his face.

"Gotcha!" They cried happily and laughed.

Heero growled.

They were going to pay for this.

Oh were they going to pay.


End file.
